Drenched in my predicament, I sought after death. Yes, It was the only thing I could think of. 
Rejected and out casted not just by my friends, but by my own family due to my body size - this threw me into oblivion.
Everything about me was so annoyingly extra large. I was placed on diet, worked tirelessly out - yet no result. I just wouldn't come to terms with why I couldn't be any better. I gave up on everything - my body or trying - so I lived in shame and kept shielding my face from embarrassment. This has become a routine I encounter every single day. 

I surfed the internet looking for the most effective poison - to end it all. I needed to end it all  - it was pointless living after being told no one could ever love me, not to talk about getting married to me.
My screen lit up and I was struck and stuck where I was as a sentence popped up. It left me breathless for almost 15 minutes - lost in thoughts. It says;  THE HIGHEST FORM TO LOSE A LIFE IS NOT BASICALLY DEATH BUT A LIFE OF UNFULFILLED PURPOSE.
The next breath I took was a breath of new life. A hope to finding joy in living. To set a goal and stop at nothing until fully accomplished.

Today, I am big, bold, and beautiful - with so much love for me that it feels like no one even noticed my size anymore. I'm living my dream - which death wouldn't have offered.
Don't let people define you. Self love is true love.

Okenwa Stella Ugochi is a graduate of industrial chemistry. She is a lover of books and an addict to writing. She is creative, versatile and witty. She uses writing to motivate and inspire people. She is one of the writers of a food poem tittled; A woman's pot, a man's stomach. Life as a writer to her is a journey, and relentlessly she is going to take the world on a tour with her writing style. 

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  1. Enter your comment...

    A very inspiring piece. What better love can one seek if not the one that comes from oneself. This is a great antidote for depression and other related crises. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Beautiful piece Stella.. I love it.


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